Work, Mom, Guilt

OK! Hi, I'm KimD and I am a Full-time, Stay-at-home-Mom who is also a Work-at-home-mom. There, I said it.

Back Note: Let's learn another KimD created word: SWAHM: Stay Work At Home Mom-an "in limbo" mom trying to balance both staying and working!

Here's the deal, I get a little nauseous when I say it. Yes, there are some "issues" about this that I'm addressing with my Happy Helper and I have the utmost respect and awe for the women who from the gate chose to be SAHMs, but just me calling myself a SAHM makes me disappointed in myself! Mind you, I had a SAH mom growing up and couldn't imagine life without one. I know, f'd up, right?

Work. I love it. I love anything and everything having to do with business. I have 2 degrees in business and will one day have my doctorate in business administration. I do have an at-home biz that I envision growing gangbusters and not actually be out of my home. I get a warm fuzzy feeling thinking about getting back out there in my expensive business attire, having meetings, closing deals, forecasting, planning, and implementing. I miss wheeling and dealing. I  miss the challenge. I miss the money!

Mom. I love it. I love stopping everything I'm doing when I hear her feet hit the floor in the morning to get ready for our "Good morning baby girl. Did you sleep well? Did you have any dreams?" conversation.   Our morning cuddle makes whatever crap is in store for the day a bit more bearable. I love being here when she delights in something new. I love being here when she gets hurt and needs a hero. I love being her best girlfriend. I love the giggle-fests we have daily. I love hearing her say "Mommy".

Guilt. I've got it! When I first transitioned into being unemployed (back in January) I focused obsessively on Shortycake 24/7. My husband almost held an intervention! For those weeks B was a cranky mess and it's because I didn't give her the attention she needed. So, I sat down and marked off blocks of time that are work hours and family hours. I've stuck to it mostly, but as B is getting more and more interested in things the guilt of me sitting here at my computer creating promotions, editing pictures, returning emails, confirming orders is growing larger than my business! I can't even get into the guilt of not contributing to the family finances...that's a whole other gotta-get-a-grip-around-it-with-my-Happy-Helper issue!

So, it's Wednesday. It's supposed to be my No work, all about B day. I have orders that need to be finished by tomorrow night. I have a cupcake promotion I need to work on and get it ready for August 1st. I have another business op I want to get up and running. I have a zoo membership that has not been used much this summer. I have bills that need to be paid. I have dishes that need to be washed. I have a 2 year old who needs lots of lovin. I have a headache!

Am I the only SWAHM out here? Is this just a phase I'm going through? Somebody PLEASE intervene and put me on the straight and narrow!

I hear footsteps, gotta go!


  1. I once heard a comedian say, "Why don't they just say, 'Here's your baby girl and here's your load of guilt!'?"

    That's the thing about being a SWAHM - our battle is with the "balance".

    Once I sit down and read with my boys, I breathe out two lung-fulls of guilt-vapor!

  2. It'll get easier as they get older, I've been a SWAHM for more than five years now, and am finally to the point where I can mostly balance it without much guilt, of course my kids are now 7 and 15, which helps greatly.

  3. You are so far from not alone. I'm a WOHM, and I get the guilts all the time. I don't really have any answers. I just try to take one day at a time and do the best with the time that I have. I've learned to live with being a "good enough" mom and that helps. You just have to realize that you really can NOT do it all, and you shouldn't have to.

  4. I think you are the best Wife, Mom, Woman that anyone could wish for!! I dont know how you do it all but you are great at it!! I am honnered to be able to call you my wife!!! Love you!!


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