Regret

Before baby I listened intently to the Mothers talk of the necessity of a good sleep routine-of which I full heartily agree-for both baby and me. I have even witnessed the Sleep Nazi’s (aka Baby-Wise) regime work perfectly on a few friends’ kids. During the first couple weeks of my baby's existence we did try our hand at The Baby Whisperer's EASY technique, it wasn't!

Frustrations at my failure to get her on board my EASY Train lead me to throw in the towel. I looked into her eyes after a futile attempt to guide her into her S time so I’d get my Y time and a revelation occurred to me. My precious bundle of spit up and poop has her way of doing things. It is unfortunate that she and I don't speak the same language so she could have clued me in on this from the get-go. At that moment I resigned that we have to figure out our own nighttime 'routine' and since then things have been much smoother.

Put down your sugar-free-vanilla-soy-latte for this...I bring her to our bed to fall asleep! Oh I have tried to shame myself for doing this. The voices of so many parents conveying their regret for doing the same thing rings loudly in my head. Experienced parents' words echo that I should just put her in her crib and let her cry it out, get her to attach to a blanky, don't start such a bad habit, etc. And tonight as I laid her down in our bed with the lights off and the room quiet I started to feel regret for starting such a routine...then she grabbed my hand and started to babble and said 'nie nie mama' before she drifted to a peaceful sleep.


As I sit here on my bed with a sleeping baby in the dark the only regret I would ever have is if I missed this moment.

[originally posted 08/2009]