This morning I woke myself up from crying. The dreams I was having of course were the reason. I have been down all day and it is because of the disturbing dreams and emotions they created. Without going into great detail my happy-helper has started some major CBT with my first assignment going to be the hardest! My dreams last night were just an accumulation of my thoughts about this assignment and going through my memory file cabinet to get things in order.
As I go through this journey, of course I will write about it. I always write...journals that I alone have ever read to blogs that I let the world read. Writing has always been my escape, my encouragement, my legacy. I am doing this for my daughter, my husband, my family, myself. Healing hurts but without pain your body doesn't know there is something that needs to heal.
And while I go through this process, I will continue to smile, joke, exude happiness and love. I will continue to fall in love with my daughter and make sure healthy love is all she experiences. I have to, that is my job right now.
I'm known to say it like it is. So, I've said it. Not a very uplifting post, but it's me. :-)
Here is a Twila Paris song that over the years has been my calming song, that told my story, that keeps me encouraged.
Kim, I have not heard these songs in forever; however, they were healing songs for me several years ago as my heart was mending. It certainly takes me back. "I drop my sword & look up for a smile. Deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child." So thankful you reminded me. "He was God before and He will not change." Think I might have to post this over at Gracefulldays.blogspot.com if you don't mind.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind at all Carm!
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