Dear Strangers on my walk today

Dear Formerly Morbidly Obese Man walking directly behind a woman pushing her child in a stroller:
Picking up your walking pace and not announcing "on the left" when you finally decide to pass her instead of breathing her air may cause said mom to pull her hand out of the stroller pocket she put it in and cause grave bodily harm to you. Just giving you a heads up. You don't know what type of weapons moms carry on them while walking a nature trail by a canal.  Oh, and congrats on the weight loss! I aspire to lose some lbs too!

Dear Spoiled Mallards:
What was wrong with our Pillsbury Butter Biscuits? Seeing that the canal is about oh say a foot deep I'm thinking you haven't many food options and should be grateful for what we excitingly offer you. Oh, and crazy squirrels, BACK OFF!

Dear Creepy Dude who rides a bike with his dog in a front mounted basket:
I've seen you a few times on the path. Your dog is adorable and the way you've modified your bike to accommodate him I admire. BUTt today I saw too much of you. Ladies Brazilian Style Thongs are not very flattering on you. Just my opinion, but hey, if they make you feel sexy then have at it.

Dear 19 year old waiter changing your clothes in the restaurant employee parking lot:
Here's some 411 for future reference-your employee parking lot is actually part of the public canal trail, so come dressed for work or at least start working on your abs and pecs.

And finally

Dear 2-6ers Gangstas:
You call that tagging on the building wall along the canal? Really. First, I didn't know you still had any cred in this area. Second, my 2 year old can tag a wall better than that and actually make it intimidating for passersby. Take some pride in your graffiti for heavens sake. You're representing your crew.

This was my 2 mile walk down the beautiful I&M Canal in Lockport. Can't wait for tomorrow!

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8 comments:

  1. Did someone get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?? Funny, very funny. Thanks for the laugh
    countrylife4me on twitter

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  2. You're welcome. And all this was just on a 1 mile stretch of the trail!

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  3. Hello, I'm a new follower from Welcome Wednesday. Looking forward to your posts! Please stop on by.
    Thanks,
    Alissia
    http://tips4green.blogspot.com

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  4. Loved, loved the post... you are funny! Thanks for stopping by my blog. I am now following you back.
    Elizabeth

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  5. Ha! That's a lot of action for a mile walk1 My head is usually down when I run around... I look for the good stuff, try to block out the madness! Thanks. Have a good one, B

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  6. Brian-I usually keep my head down too, especially when I'm huffing and puffing like I've run a marathon, but yesterday it was so beautiful I figured I'd acknowledge the other humans on the trail to. BIG MISTAKE! Well not really, it was quite entertaining.
    Happy Thursday!

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  7. Kim, I wanted to do a post similar to this after going to Wal-Mart last week. Boy oh boy do I run into all sorts of interesting people there! This post was a crack up:0

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  8. Thanks for the follow I am following you back!

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