Ms. inDependent

Dried green paintImage via Wikipedia
This morning I wake to another morning of a chaotic home. The kitchen remodel is officially behind. Here's why: We hired a guy to paint the kitchen for us.

Quick Synopsis: When we moved in here back in 2006, the whole house had to be painted. We did it ourselves and I hated it! Those darn seams at the ceiling make me psychotic! Needless to say, I swore the next time we need painting, we pay for it! OH WE ARE PAYING FOR IT. Yesterday while my husband started painting the kitchen because of the MIA dude, I so wanted to get up on a ladder and do the cutting in.  The only thing stopping me was that I have tons of cookie orders to get done, and now that we vaulted the ceiling, its too high for me and my fear of it! The painter shows up after 5pm, leaves at 8:30ish, all we asked was he finish a certain area, and he didn't. Yes, the hubs and I are furious! But I Babble.

I woke this morning trying to learn something from this depending-on-someone-to-do-something-for-me experience. Here it is: I am uncomfortable with dependence. I don't depend on most things. I always have a plan b, just in case.  I'm the take charge, get the stuff done, make the decisions person. "Oh, Kimmy is very independent." "Kim's a true born leader". Funny. The great qualities I have are because of my fear, distrust of, and experience with dependence.

When B came home from Nonna's last night, I had just finished reading a section in the book my HH has me reading that lists what children need. If something  is lacking, that's when the child develops a coping mechanism. (You want more insight into my issues? click here) As I was smothering her with love and the both of us saying how much we missed each other last night, the list from the book ran through my head. B grabbed my hubs and my face and squeezed them against her cheeks. Of course I then compared my parenting of B with the list. So far so good!

Now, as I sit at my dining room table looking at the unfinished paint job I relax knowing that my Little Ms. Independent knows innately she can depend on me unconditionally. She's not having to create compensating coping mechanisms and yet is still showing signs of good leadership, independence, and unconditional loving. God, that's got to be a great feeling for her!

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