My Hanukkah Wish: This Stupid Dog Learns English

That's right, I called my dog Stupid, feel free to call animal control.

As I sit barely finished with my first cup of coffee (on the morning meter this means I am still the snow beast wanting to eat Rudolph, not put a star on a tree) this darn dog starts chasing my older cat Abbi. Now Abs was sitting minding her own business watching me drink my coffee and this little dog with a poop eating grin starts barking at her and jumping up and down like she's all high on crack.

I put my coffee down and as any person born to be a caretaker of animals does, I point my finger in the dogs face and scream like an asshole, "shut the f@#k up and leave Abbi alone". What does this brainiac dog do? She starts licking my finger like its covered in freaking liverwurst, sits on her wagging butt, tilts her head and looks at me with a smile.

What part of my psychotic bletch told her to be all cute? Oy Vey. Time to finish my coffee. Oh and Happy Hanukkah!

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