Panic at the Playdate

Last weekend I left town for 3 days! I was supposed to relax and get refreshed because I guess it showed on my face that I was getting ready to go postal. Well, I did not relax and I came home even more pent up and yesterday was the finale! Ever have a panic attack?

Anxiety disorder is stamped in my medical records, no need to hide it. I'm always wound tight and am quite used to the racing of my heart and tightening of my chest. No biggie. Yesterday as I decorated some cookies my arms trembled so bad I thought I had turned into someone's marionette. Then my chest got a charlie horse and I couldn't breathe. Tuh Da! The lights went on in my shortness-of-breath-arm-spasming-self that "duh,  you're having a full blown panic attack". Haven't had one of those in years!

Today I am dealing with the aftermath of the attack. If you don't suffer such attacks I can't even begin to explain what happens when they are done! Anywho, I digress. Back to today, Tuesday. I have an order to start and finish today. It will only take a couple hours so I've procrastinated-and my heart is beating even more rapidly than the usual. But it gets better. Tomorrow pre-attack self spear headed a playdate group with moms I've never met and the same with their kids! WTF was I thinking?

Playdate. That's right, you read it here first! I am going on a playdate. Just the thought turns my stomach. When my "happy helper" told me it would be best for B to be part of such groups I tried explaining my apprehension to the inorganic idea of planning play. She wasn't convinced and told me to get over it and help B become socialized. Then I looked at my 17 pound cat who I bottle fed and taught to pee when she was only three weeks old and see how I kinda failed at socializing her...she doesn't groom herself very well and prefers people over cats to hang with and has a very fowl temper when she doesn't get her way. So, in an attempt to not do the same to my human child I'm going to thrust both she and I into a very strange situation and pray she takes to kids like a duck to water.

Me? I'll get into "salesperson" mode and with a plastered smile and some standard small talk topics will persevere through the hour and a half of our scheduled date! All while trying to avoid a Panic at the Playdate!