I held off as long as I could but this morning, while ingesting my first cup of coffee for the day, I read about the Time Magazine article, "Are You Mom Enough?" which is overshadowed by it's cover of the hot 26 year old California mom breastfeeding her almost tween son (OK, so he's three, a tall three) with defiant, in-your-face expressions. The outrage of the picture has far outweighed the article about attachment parenting, and boy are people radically adamant with their opinions of what is right and wrong in parenting ( you can add me to that bunch if it makes you feel better).
I listen as friends discuss how other moms make them feel bad about something they do or don't do as a parent. It always gets my goat. If you feel bad based on what someone is telling you, they are not the cause of this feeling, you are! Somewhere in your mommy job you feel inadequate and not confident in following your god given instincts. Yes, Mother's Intuition is a real thing peeps, and its freaking powerful.
Here's the kicker, when there is a mother staunchly defending her, while also insulting other's, parenting choices, the one preaching is insecure, searching for validation so she can breath easy. See the dichotomy? One mom preaching out of insecurity, the other, preached at, feeling bad due to her insecurity. The glass is half full and half empty. If Moms had balls, there'd be no need for other's validation, that's what the balls are for! Fill the freaking glass and move on.
Another goat-getter is "Oh, my pediatrician told me to/not to...". "I can't ________ until I ask my pediatrician." Seriously? Using a pediatrician/latest research/parenting guru as a cop-out disgusts me just as much as, well, breastfeeding your preschooler on the cover of a magazine does. When parents put more trust in a complete stranger who has some extra letters after his/her name or a buzz-word-of-the-month-title it doesn't make them a better parent, it actually places the importance of them being parents UNDERNEATH the importance of being a doctor/title-whore. Great example to set for your children, huh?
When reading about the topic of breastfeeding, being a mom who chose not to, I do not feel regret for my decision nor lessor of a good mother. I commend those who chose to let their little ones feed from them, it just wasn't my thing. What I choose to do with my boobs is no one's business, unless you're the surgeon increasing these babies to a nice size DD when I turn 40ish!
Recently a well contained dialogue was taking place in the comments of a friend's Facebook post about breastfeeding. One of the commentors stated that her beliefs on the subject may make those who did not breastfeed feel bad. How arrogant! Her comment did elicit a loud chuckle from me. Thank heavens she wasn't in the room or I may have made her feel bad for that underhanded, masked rue of a comforting pat on the back for the poor, lessor than though, kept-their-tits-to-themselves-mommies.
Here's what needs to happen. Moms need to grow a pair. That's all. If every mother had balls, she wouldn't question her parenting, nor believe that others know what is best for her children, and instead of throwing daggers would throw High-5's to all fellow parents even if a bit shell shocked by overexposed magazine photos!
Kudos to Jamie Lynne Grumet for having the balls to pose for a magazine having her child sucking on her teet. High-5 to all the other photos in the article of moms and their pre-pubescent kids enjoying a mid-morning milk straight from the source. Up High to those who choose to wear their babies and those who choose to send them off to boarding school. High 5 to me for being just me, as I pour my 3 year old a glass of whole cow milk, straight from the bpa free bottle.
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